Text: John 11:30-44

“Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Those are Mary’s first words to Jesus when she meets him outside the village. She goes right up to him and blurts out, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” No “Hi, how are ya?” No “Been a while. Would’ve been nice if you could have come earlier.” No niceties whatsoever. Just straight to the point: “If you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

Those are powerful words. Words of accusation. And yet, words of affirmation. Mary believes in Jesus’ miraculous power. She knows he could have done something if he had been there before or just as Lazarus was dying. Mary’s words make us stop and take notice.

These words thrilled my heart when I read them. But not for any reason that you would probably guess. You see that sentence is one of the clearest examples one will ever get of when to use the subjunctive mood in Spanish. Didn’t see that coming, did you?!

In a former life I was a Spanish teacher. And before that I was a Spanish learner. One thing I know: We English-first language learners have a very hard time understanding the subjunctive mood in other languages. It is not something that we are taught in English. Our verbs do not have different forms to show this elusive subjunctive mood that is distinct from the indicative mood.

[You’re getting a grammar lesson this morning as well as a sermon. Bonus for you!]

You see, for those of us who learned English as our first language, there are no different verb endings to signify a change in moods. Whether we want to talk about what is or was or what could be or could have been. Whether we want to express doubt or give a command. All the verbs basically look the same. There are no special endings to signify the difference in meaning between the real and the hypothetical. That has to come through other words in the sentence. Or from the tone of voice.

And so, when I read Mary’s words to Jesus, stating not what was fact but rather what was very obviously contrary to fact, I was excited because I knew without a doubt that the subjunctive mood would be used to say that in Spanish. “Si hubieras estado aquí, no habría muerto mi hermano.” Beautiful.

“If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” Punto final. What more is there to say?

Mary was sure that Jesus had the power to avert this whole situation if only he had come earlier like they had asked him to do. But he had chosen not to do that. He had stayed away. And his decision completely confounded her. She found it all to be truly disappointing.

Judging from what Mary and the Jews had witnessed and heard about Jesus’ miraculous acts, they knew that Lazarus didn’t have to die. And, because they knew this they were grieving twice over – grieving not only the lost of their brother and friend, but also grieving Jesus’ choice not to act to stop their loss from happening. In their grief, they were stuck on what could have been – something that was completely contrary to what was indeed the situation at hand.

Jesus was not unaffected by their grief. These were, after all, his closest friends and partners in ministry. The text says that “he was greatly disturbed in the spirit and deeply moved.” And that Jesus wept. On the surface it appears that Jesus identifies with them in their sadness and joins them in mourning. But the Greek takes the “disturbed” part a little further. The Greek verb used there is one that implies that Jesus’ sadness included more than just a bit of anger.

Not only is Jesus sad that his good friend Lazarus has died. Not only is Jesus sad that his good friends Martha and Mary have lost their brother, whom they loved dearly and depended on for financial stability. Not only is Jesus sad for the whole community of Jewish people gathered there to mourn. But Jesus is also angered at their short-sightedness.

Had they not been with him this whole time? Did they not yet understand that his purposes were so much bigger than the life of this one person in their community? Did they not see that what he brought them had significance beyond this lifetime?

Their reaction to Lazarus’ death was a resounding “no” to all of these questions.

They didn’t get it. Grief and fear blinded them to what could be.

And that saddened and angered Jesus. He had come to show all of creation the beauty of what would be when God’s realm became the reality. Yet more often than not he was met with skepticism and rejection by people who were stuck holding onto what could have been.

“Have you not seen? Have you not heard?”

Isaiah had been there before Jesus. Calling for eyes to see what can be in God’s realm only to be shut down by eyes that are blinded by the visions of what could have been. It’s a common human condition. And yet, God the loving parent through Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit calls us to believe that so much more is possible and waiting to be realized now and in the future.

We at San Francisco Theological Seminary are not immune to this habit of looking backwards and holding on to what could have been. Where is our focus this day?

Are we blinded by the thoughts of what could have been?

For those who are newly joining us, are you filled with questions and thoughts about the life you left behind to start seminary? There had to be some no’s to what could have been in order for you to say yes to being a student here. Are you, at the end of your first week of classes, wondering about the sanity of that decision?

For those of us who are continuing – whether we are a student, faculty, staff, or administrator – are we hanging onto thoughts of what used to be? Are we remembering those professors who used to be here or the programs we used to offer? Are we wishing that maybe things could have gone differently so that we could still have what we used to have?

Jesus knows the no’s we’ve had to say to what used to be. Jesus grieves those losses with us – whether they were big or small. But Jesus also calls us out of the hypothetical, “what could have been,” and into the very real possibilities of the future.

God is ready and waiting to work in and through us now to do great things if only we will adjust our focus. It’s dangerous to try to move forward while looking backwards. Have you ever tried it? The likelihood of running into something and hurting ourselves is high. I don’t recommend it! “Watch where you’re going!” the saying warns. I’m sure we’ve all heard that advice many times. It’s good advice. We should heed it.

What kind of mood are we in today? Are we stuck in the subjunctive? Or are we listening to Jesus’ call to live into the indicative? Let us let go of what could have been and live into the already and not yet of what God is creating all around us.

Amen.