March 21, 2008 — 5:43 PM
"Father, into your hands..."
Luke 23:44-46
How would you react if you learned that you were going to die soon? Once the initial shock wore off, what feelings would you be left with? Denial? Anger? Helplessness? Maybe even hopelessness? Can you imagine yourself being calm about it?
Throughout my years in ministry I have met with many people who are facing the very real fact that they are in their last days of life. And as you can probably imagine, they each faced it in different ways.
Two women stand out for me in how opposite they were in their reactions to facing their own death.
I met one of these women while I was a chaplain intern at UCSF's Mt Zion Cancer Clinic. She was in her late 50s and had recently learned that she had a very rapid-moving cancer. She had gone through surgeries, chemotherapy sessions, and radiation only to have it still in her body. She was back for more of the same and was as angry as angry can be.
As I sat with her she told me how unfair she found this whole turn of events. She had saved and planned her whole life for her retirement. She had hoped to travel to many wonderful places and do many wonderful things. But she was diagnosed with this cancer shortly after her retirement.
Fighting cancer had become her retirement activity. And as she began to see the cancer gaining the upper hand, she came to realize that she would never be able to take any of those trips or do any of the fun activities that she had so looked forward to.
This left her bitter and angry. Especially angry at God for allowing such an injustice to occur.
I met the other woman while I was a Spanish teacher in an Elementary and Middle school. She was the mother of two of my students, whom I taught for several years. When I first met her she had recently had surgery for brain cancer - a cancer which had metasticized from an earlier bout with breast cancer. Following surgery, this mother was given a clean bill of health.
But within a few years the cancer was back and this time there was no stopping it. I'm sure this was the most devastating news this mother could have received, but she did not show it.
Instead, she began putting her life in order, as we say. She did what she could to make sure that her husband and kids would be ready for life after her death. She faced her death with grace and a sense of peace.
Her process of preparing herself as well as those around her for her death allowed everyone to celebrate her life with her even as they mourned the untimeliness of its ending.
She saw the end of her life approaching and she was at peace - a completely different place than the woman at the cancer clinic.
The Gospel writers present Jesus as facing his own death in similarly contrasting ways. As we heard earlier, the writer of the Gospel of Mark shows Jesus reacting angrily and crying out to God, "Why have you forsaken me?" As he hangs dying, Jesus demands answers from God the Father for why this injustice needed to happen.
But the writer of Luke shows Jesus facing his own death in a very different fashion. Instead of being angry, Jesus was at peace with what was going to happen. He had tried to educate his followers and help them to prepare for life following his death. And as he nears the end of his life, he is ready to surrender it all into the hands of God, whom he calls Father.
How could Jesus be this calm? What allowed him to let go of the need to have control of his own life? What was the source of this peace that so clearly supported him in the final minutes of his life?
Jesus' final words help us to answer these questions. Just before he drew his last breath, Jesus offered a final prayer to God saying, "Father into your hands I commend my spirit." And with these words Jesus finished a conversation that had started in earnest the night before in the garden.
In the garden Jesus had prayed to God asking that this cup be taken from him. Jesus was hoping that there would be another way - one in which he would not have to die in order for God's salvation to be realized for creation. But Jesus' prayer didn't stop with that request. Rather, he went on to add the prayer that God's will be done, not his own.
Jesus was able to offer such a prayer because he knew that God is the God of steadfast and unfailing love. And as Jesus faced his final moments, he did what so many of us do in times of crisis, he remembered words of Scripture - words that offer a balm for the wounded, fearful heart. His final prayer from the cross was drawn from Psalm 31. This is a psalm that is filled with affirmations of trust in God. This is a psalm that encourages all who hear it to trust God's unfailing goodness. Listen to the verses surrounding and including the words Jesus offered to God before he died. They say:
You are indeed my rock and my fortress;
for your name's sake lead me and guide me,
take me out of the net that is hidden for me,
for you are my refuge.
Into your hand I commit my spirit;
you have redeemed me, O Lord, faithful God.
You hate those who pay regard to worthless idols,
but I trust in the Lord.
I will exult and rejoice in your steadfast love,
because you have seen my affliction;
you have taken heed of my adversities,
and have not delivered me into the hand of the enemy;
you have set my feet in a broad place.
Jesus knew these words to be true of God. He knew that he could trust God to safeguard him even in the face of death. Knowing that God's love is steadfast, Jesus was able to pray, "Your will, not mine." Knowing that God is faithful, Jesus was able to let go of his life and entrust it to the hands of God. Knowing that God, the loving parent, was indeed his rock and his fortress, Jesus was able to face these final moments with a feeling of deep peace.
I believe it is important to hold both pictures of Jesus facing his own death - that from the Gospel of Mark where Jesus is angry at the injustice and abandonment he feels and that from the Gospel of Luke where Jesus trusts God implicitly and therefore feels deep peace. Both of these are valid reactions to facing suffering of any sort, and especially when facing the end of one's life.
But we end with Luke's description of Jesus' final words in order to remind ourselves that, as the Hebrew people affirmed throughout their Scriptures, we worship the God of steadfast, unfailing love. Our God is with us as we face suffering and death. Our God is our rock, our fortress, our refuge. Our God wants us to pray as Jesus prayed because only when we open ourselves in these ways will we be able to receive the deep, abiding peace that our God offers us.
Let us join our voices with Jesus and say, "Not our will God, but yours" and "into your hands we commend our spirits" trusting that God will truly be our rock, our fortress, and our refuge.
Amen.
